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Pirelli's Miracle Elixir

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Pirelli's Miracle Elixir is the seventh song in the movie. It's sung by Toby, Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett.

During the song, Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett head to St. Dunstan's market, where Tobias Ragg is selling the "Miracle Elixir" of one Adolfo Pirelli. The two soon learn that the elixir in question is nothing but a concoction of urine and ink, and nothing but a fraud meant to separate people from their money, and waste no time in spreading this word to everyone at the market, disrupting Toby's sales pitch in the process. This serves to draw out Adolfo Pirelli himself, leading into The Contest, where Sweeney challenges Pirelli.

Lyrics Edit

Toby: 		Ladies and gentlemen! 
		May I have your attention, perlease? 
		Do you wake every morning in shame and despair 
		To discover your pillow is covered with hair
		Wot ought not to be there?
	
		Well, ladies and gentlemen
		From now on you can waken at ease 
		You need never again have a worry or care 
		I will show you a miracle marvelous rare

		Gentlemen, you are about to see 
                Something wot rose from the dead--
		On the top of my head! 

		T’was Pirelli’s Miracle Elixir 
		That’s wot did the trick, sir 
		True, sir, true 

		Was it quick, sir? 
                Did it in a tick, sir
		Just like an elixir 
                Ought to do! 

		How about a bottle, mister? 
		Only costs a penny, guaranteed 

		Does Pirelli’s 
                Stimulate the growth, sir? 
		You can have my oath, sir 
		’Tis unique 

		Rub a minute-- 
		Stimulatin’ i’n’ it? 
		Soon you’ll have to thin it 
                Once a week! 

Sweeney Todd: 	Pardon me, ma’am, what’s that awful stench? 

Mrs. Lovett: 	Are we standing near an open trench?
       
	[Simultaneously:]	

Mrs. Lovett:	Pardon me, sir, what’s that awful stench?
		
Sweeney Todd:   Must be standing near an open trench!

Toby: 		Buy Pirelli’s Miracle Elixir 
		Anything wot’s slick, sir 
		Soon sprouts curls

		Try Pirelli’s! 
		When they see how thick, sir 
		You can have your pick, sir 
		Of the girls! 

		Wanna buy a bottle, missus? 

Sweeney Todd: 	What is this? 

Mrs. Lovett: 	What is this? 

Sweeney Todd: 	Smells like piss 

Mrs. Lovett: 	Smells like-- phew! 

Sweeney Todd: 	Looks like piss 

Mrs. Lovett: 	Wouldn’t touch it if I was you, dear 

Sweeney Todd: 	This is piss
		Piss with ink

[Toby starts singing faster]

Toby: 		Let Pirelli’s
                Activate your roots, sir--

Sweeney Todd: 	Keep it off your boots, sir-- 
		Eats right through

Toby: 		Yes, get Pirelli’s! 
		Use a bottle of it!
		Ladies seem to love it--

Mrs. Lovett: 	Flies do too!

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